


Breaking Science

by SyntaxSynodic



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Carlos' backstory, M/M, Slice of Life, eventually, will get fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-06
Packaged: 2018-03-16 12:08:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3487709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SyntaxSynodic/pseuds/SyntaxSynodic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We're all stuck in our own illusion of reality... Aren't we? Find out what led that perfect scientist into Night Vale. (Rating is subject to change in later chapters)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, Scree here. I will basically copy paste these updates from our FF.net account as they happen. Enjoy! c:

“Carlos? Carlos, are you listening?”

Snap snap.

“Huh?” Carlos blinked. Aurora rolled her eyes.

“Look down, idiota.”

“O-oh,” he stuttered. She had taken all of his food and moved it to her side of the table. “Was I out that bad..?”

“Obviously,” she replied. “What’s up with you lately? Is it your classes?”

Carlos rubbed his temples and sighed.

“No, my classes are fine. Biochemistry has always been fine; it’s very easy to teach. My research is a different story. I want to be able to teach my students something…  new. Some great new discovery. But I’m stuck.” Aurora nodded as she passed him back his food.

“You always have that look on your face when you’re upset, hermano.” She took a bite of the grilled chicken that littered her salad. “You’ve always been distracted, Carlito, but Mamá will know the difference.”

“I know,” Carlos sighed and looked down at his soup that had yet to be touched.

“Is the soup not to your liking, sir?” a friendly voice inquired. Carlos blinked, and drew his head up. A smiling waiter looked down at him.

“Oh, no, I mean, yes, I uh-”

“The soup is fine, dear. Carlos here has been so busy talking, he hasn’t touched it yet.” Aurora interjected.

“Yes,” Carlos added, rather awkwardly.

“Oh, sure,” the young man said good naturedly. “Can I get you anything?”

“We’re good for now, thank you,” Aurora smiled. The waiter took his leave. Carlos quickly dipped his spoon into the broccoli and cheese soup and led the utensil to his mouth. The soup hit his tongue; it was rich and creamy, packed with the tang of salt, and not yet lukewarm. He dropped his spoon back into the soup, and it greeted the porcelain surface of the bowl with a friendly ‘tink!’

“Sorry, Aurora. I’ll get my act together before we visit Mamá, I promise.” Aurora shook her head and smiled.

“Its all right, Carlos. Maybe talking to Mamá will help. It always used to.” That, Carlos knew, was true. Mamá always knew what to say. When Carlos was in school, and he returned home upset, or when he was stuck on his homework. The day Papá died. The day a prestigious school in Massachusetts decided to interest themselves in his future, and offer him a place in their ranks. The day before he left, even. Lately, he’d found himself wanting to call his Mamá even though he’d been living on his own for nearly 15 years. But whenever he thought to call her, it was very late. Even with the time difference of three hours, he’d have still woken her back in California.

  In one of those particular dark morning hours, he’d received a phone call from Emilio, who’d been in hysterics. Mamá’s in trouble, he kept saying. Carlos had never heard his unshakeable older brother sound so vulnerable. After Carlos calmed him down a bit, the news came that Mamá had been rushed to the hospital after experiencing a heart attack.

From what he could understand from Emilio, she knew what was happening and dialed 911, but stopped talking after a few seconds. Javier, who lived closest to Mamá, had received a phone call when she was admitted.

That whole thing had happened about two months ago. Mamá was doing well now, and she was back at home. There were assisted living employees at her house day and night, and for that Carlos was thankful. He continued to eat the lush soup gratefully. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast on the plane ride in, and he hadn’t realized how hungry he was until the flavour of the cheese lingered on his tongue.

Carlos was excited to be back in California; the warm weather was fresh and familiar. When he followed Aurora out of the restaurant, the air smelled like home.

“Well Carlito, if you haven’t reserved a hotel room yet, you’re welcome to stay at Javier’s with the rest of us.” Carlos chuckled.

“How nice of you to invite me into Javier’s home,” he smiled goodnaturedly. “Is there any room?”

“Certainly more room than Mamá’s will have. Especially with all of our little rascals running around.” It had been a while since Carlos had seen his nieces and nephews. He was sure they were all much more mature by now then he’d expect. Javier’s oldest turned fifteen about four months ago.

“Speaking of rascals, are you EVER going to make any?” Aurora joked. Carlos rolled his eyes.  
“You know how I feel about children.” Aurora smiled.

“Yeah, something about being creeped out by cell mitosis.”

“Close. What ‘creeps me out’ is the fact that when a male gamete perforates a female gamete, an entire, tiny and helpless human being is created from those two simple little cells. In a very simple way too; it is only slightly different from the way your body normally produces cells. If making a child is not playing God, I don’t know what is.” Aurora shook her head, and her black curls bounced around her sharply angled face. They walked to her small red Buick.

“You’ve always been a strange one,” She winked. “Don’t tell Mamá.” she added, giggling.

“Yeah, yeah,” Carlos smiled warmly. He was fairly sure Mamá knew where he stood; he had refused to hold Maya when he was presented with her only a few days after she was born. He had explained that he was concerned he would break the tiny human. Babies… weren’t really his thing.

 Once they were both seated and strapped in, Aurora started the car. It sputtered once, then hummed to life.

“You ready to go see the family?” She asked?

“Most definitely,” Carlos replied.

 

“Tio Carlos!” Maya squealed. Carlos felt a sudden heaviness on his legs.

“Hello there, Maya,” He laughed and picked the six year old up off of the kitchen floor. He moved aside for Aurora who came in the door behind him.

Maya had her mother’s curly hair, but it was strawberry blonde like her father’s. She had the Ortega family’s chocolate brown eyes.

“Mama said she was going to get you and I’ve been waiting forever and I thought you got lost!” She said, her eyes widening.

“Oh, silly Maya. Mama knows her way around. I was feeding Tío Carlos so that he wouldn’t eat you.” Maya eyed Carlos warily.

“You’re not still hungry, are you, Tío Carlos?”

“Well… Maybe just for a snack. Maya is the perfect size for a snack!” He opened his mouth wide and she squealed in delight, wiggling down from his grasp and running to her father. Her noise attracted her cousins, who filtered into the kitchen to greet him.

“Uncle Carlos, I’m so glad you’re here!” greeted Kaitlynn, Javier’s oldest.

“Hello Kaitee! I’m glad I could make it as well. You’re a freshman this year, aren’t you?” She nodded proudly, her ashen blonde curls coiled around her face.

“What’s your favorite subject?”

“I like algebra,” she replied.

“That’s good to hear,” he laughed, remembering how much Javier hated math.

“What’s algebra?” asked her little brother, Gabriel.

“Math,” she replied, and he wrinkled his nose.

“I like reading better,” he said. If Carlos remembered correctly, he was in fifth grade this year.

“What kind of books do you like?” Asked Carlos.

“I like books about animals. I just got done reading Varjak Paw. That one is about a cat who runs away to save his family from a strange man and his icky black cats.” Carlos smiled. He’d have to remember the title of that book so he could send it to him for his next birthday.

“Where are your other cousins?” Asked Carlos, curious as to the whereabouts of Emilio’s three children.

“They’re out back,” Emilio piped up from the table, sipping a bottle of Coke.

“Hola, Emilio. How’s life?”

“Never better,” Emilio grinned. “I just got promoted.”

“That’s great!” Carlos grinned. Emilio was an electrician who generally worked with a team of other electricians. Carlos wondered if this meant he lead the group now.

“Now we just have to somehow save the extra money he makes,” said Melanie (his wife) who sat next to him. She planted a kiss on his bearded cheek. She also stole his liter of Coke while kissing him, and Carlos couldn’t help but grin.

“Hermano!” He heard Javier greet warmly from the living room. Carlos walked over to him.

“Hola Javier,” His oldest brother wrapped him in a strong hug.

“How are you, Carlito? How’s the job as a professor treating you?”

“I’m a bit stuck in my research right now, but I’m sure it’s nothing a little break can’t solve.” Javier pointed at his temples.

“Ahh, you’re greying early,” he smiled.

“I don’t know anything about early; I am thirty-two” Carlos replied, logically. Javier grinned.

“I see Kaitee and Gabe are here,” Carlos said. “I assume their mother isn’t coming to see Mamá?”

Javier’s grin faltered slightly.

“Well, I fought a bit too hard for custody of my kids to let her near them,” He replied honestly, watching his daughter as she sat at the kitchen table to help Maya colour. Carlos nodded.

“Perfectly understandable.” Javier glanced over at Gabe, who was talking with his other uncle,  Zane. Zane was Aurora’s husband; he taught junior high English.

“Ah, Carlito,” Javier said, suddenly. “Would you mind sleeping on a couch tonight?” Carlos shook his head.

“I’ll sleep on the floor if need be. Just give me a blanket and a pillow, and I’d be comfortable anywhere.” This wasn’t true at all, but he knew Javier had enough on his mind and didn’t need to worry about his comfort on top of it all. Javier nodded.

“Its good to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back home.” Carlos replied. “Would you like help making dinner?” He added, glancing at his watch. It was nearly 5, and he was fairly certain Aurora had taken him out because she was hungry as well.

“Sí, I was having trouble deciding what to make with all these mouths to feed.” Carlos thought for a moment.

“Do you have hamburger meat and refrigerator rolls?”

“I’m pretty sure I do.”

“Taco rings,” Carlos smiled.

“Ah, muy bien. I also have some red peppers and corn.”

“Perfect,” Carlos replied. “Let’s start.”

 

Later that night, the family was putting the kids to bed. Emilio’s three sons put up a fuss, but as soon as Melanie stepped in, they got the general idea. Carlos glanced down at his watch, careful not to wake Maya, who fell asleep in his lap while he was talking with Zane. No wonder; it was 10:30.

“Dios mio, that late already?” Asked Aurora from behind him, clicking her tongue.

“So it seems” replied Carlos. She stepped around the couch and scooped up Maya who instantly fell back asleep as soon her her head hit her mother’s shoulder.

“It’s off to bed for me and the little wonder here.” She said, smiling softly.

“Buenas noches,” Carlos whispered. Zane followed his wife past Carlos and down the hall. The room was empty after just a few minutes, save for Carlos and Nighttime, Gabe’s young cat. Javier joined them shortly with a downy blanket and a few pillows.

“Buenas noches, Carlito,” Said Javier, his voice hushed in the quiet house.

“Buenas noches. What time will we leave tomorrow for Mamá’s?”

“Probably 9:30, so we can get all of the kids ready.” Carlos nodded. Javier walked down the hall.

“Just knock on the door at the end of the hall if you need anything,” he called softly. Nighttime batted around a mouse toy; he seemed to be glad all the people flooding his space were finally gone. The tiny bell on his collar let out delicate peals of laughter. The sound was not as annoying as Carlos anticipated it to be; it was even quite comforting.

He got to his feet and stretched, yawning as he did so. Nighttime batted the toy around his sock clad feet. He leaned down to pet the kitten, then slung his duffel bag over his shoulder. He shuffled to the bathroom, taking care to be quiet. ‘I might as well take a shower now,’ Carlos thought. ‘Everyone’s going to be running around in the morning.’ Unbuttoning his plaid shirt, he yawned again as his fingers nimbly undid the black buttons. He double and triple checked that he had, in fact, locked the door, then fully undressed and stepped into the shower. The hot water hit his face and chest and came as a great sigh of relief. The past few days had been exhausting, and the rolling water seemed to help him exhale all the tension in his rumbling mind. The droplets took a while to soak through Carlos’s thick seal brown hair, and his scalp tingled and warmed with the contact.

“I need a haircut,” he muttered, and ran his broad fingers through the wet, deep brown mop. His lip curled in distaste. Carlos had never liked his hair, it was one of those insecurities that made him wish he was born a different way. Everyone else's hair was beautiful and glossy, lustrous. His was gross and dense and did nothing but curl around and around, tangle, and act impossible. He dared not keep it any longer than a few inches. He reached for his duffel bag atop the toilet and rummaged around, eventually locating his shampoo and soap. He washed his hair, then moved on to his body.

He propped his forehead on the shower wall, and looked down to think, really think. A certain molecular structure kept dancing behind his eyes; the 2D structure of heme, the protien that carries oxygen in blood. He slowly added the key parts that would turn heme into hemoglobin. The tiny lined pentagons and hexagons littered his mind, and the lines and letters fell into place. Fe in the middle; iron. The ring of nitrogen around the iron. Around that, the ring of carbon and hydrocarbon. Added onto that: CH2 and CH3. The little branches of O and O- on top of the chart always reminded Carlos of leaves on trees. Heme was a molecular formula that he could draw from memory. It was the very first one he memorized, actually. Carlos thought back to where he first learned the structure. AP Chem class his Junior year of high school. He remembered the frightened look on Mr. Lawrence’s face every time he raised his hand. After a few days, the poor man had taken to giving him textbooks to seek answers in. Carlos was always hungry to learn, if his brain was a cup, he wanted it to overflow, to become a fountain. ‘Maybe that’s why I became a teacher,’ he speculated. His students had taught him many things in his 7 years of being an educator. While most of the lessons he learned involved social interaction, a lot of them involved Biology and different ways to look at concepts. Ways that he had never thought of. The diversity of human brain function astounded him.

  He shut off the water, and his wet skin chilled very quickly. Stepping lightly, he dried himself off, then slipped into his pajamas. The mirror caught his attention. His own amber brown eyes stared back at him from the reflective surface. He ran a finger along the stubble on his chin, and mentally reminded himself to shave sometime tomorrow. He always forgot to and ended up looking scraggly. Sighing, he took off his glasses and cleaned them. Carlos shambled back to the couch; Nighttime had taken post on his pillow.

  “Hey kitty.” Nighttime bumped his head against Carlos’s extended hand, a purr rumbling deep within his tiny body. “Make room.” The cushions moved as Carlos sat, and the young cat bounded atop the back of the couch. He placed his glasses on the coffee table and ran his fingers through his hair. They got caught halfway through. He rolled his eyes and heaved a great sigh. After a while of staring at the blurred ceiling and trying not to drown in his own thoughts, Carlos finally slipped from the waking world.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hot, dry air filled Carlos’ lungs, and his mouth was irritated by the biting grit of sand. He’d been walking for such a long time… Such a very long time… His feet sunk into the white sand with each step. Panting, he brought his head up to look to the horizon. The blinking red light atop the mountain beckoned him on. It was so far away, and so high up; he’d die before he reached it. And yet, he dragged his sore feet forward. The burning need to reach that light seared like a sun that was colder than ice. The feeling suddenly branded him with a desperation, and he began to run. Hot blood surged through his blood vessels, all of them; arteries, veins, capillaries… Sweat dripped off of him and evaporated before it hit the dry sand._

_Suddenly, his feet hit pavement. Expecting them to sink, he tripped on the unforgiving surface. The ground rose to meet him, and he braced himself-_

  Carlos’s eyes snapped open. His pulse was ringing in his ears and he felt his pajamas stick to his sweaty flesh. His eyes swam, struggling to focus. Scrabbling for his glasses, he sat up and pushed his wet hair off of his forehead. Once his glasses were located, he pushed them up over his nose and clicked on the yellow shaded lamp on table beside the couch. Warm light flooded the room. Carlos slowly came down from his adrenaline high as his eyes focused, and his breathing steadied. He struggled to recall the dream, but it slipped away from him every time he remembered something, like water through desperately grabbing fingers.

  Using his slightly damp tee-shirt to soak up the sweat on his neck and forehead, he relaxed against the arm of the couch. When he uncovered his face, he noticed Nighttime on the other arm of the couch, short black fur bristled out and green eyes wide.

  ‘He must have smelled my fear and thought he was in danger,’ Carlos rationalized, and slowly reached out to the cowering cat, muttering soothing words in Spanish. He paused before he touched Nighttime, eyeing him warily to see if he would strike. The young cat sniffed his fingers, and Carlos saw his fur start to settle.

  “Estamos a salvo, gatito,” Carlos cooed and scratched the kitten’s ears.

  Carlos stifled a sneeze (he’d wondered when his allergies were going to decide to kick in) and noticed his mouth and throat were very dry. So dry, in fact, they ached as if he’d been running.

  “Dios mio… I sincerely hope I was not hyperventilating in my sleep.” he groaned quietly before pushing the fleece blanket off and shambling to the kitchen. Luckily, the lamp illuminated the kitchen in half light, so Carlos didn’t need to turn on another light to locate a glass. He filled it with room temperature water from the tap and drank deeply, finishing the glass in a mere matter of seconds.

  He glanced at the microwave as he refilled the glass. The soft pale green display politely informed him that it was 5:23 AM. He drained the second glass. It was very unusual for him to wake up before his internal clock told him it was morning, which was around 6:45. He wondered if he was jetlagged and wandered back to the couch.

  Carlos stifled another sneeze as Nighttime shook his ink black pelt and jumped soundlessly to the floor. The young cat rubbed against his legs as he passed and made his way to Emilio’s room at the end of the hall. He nosed his way through the slightly cracked door; no doubt Gabriel was in there, sleeping soundly.

  Carlos knew that he probably shouldn’t go back to sleep. It’d be really hard to wake up later, but he still felt exhausted. He decided he would anyway. He took out his phone and set a 7:30 alarm. That would give him plenty of time to get ready, even with all the people (and children) he would have to dance around. He curled up on his side and gazed at the floor. Thoughts of his class danced across his mind jubilantly, and he smiled warmly. He sighed contentedly, and brought the blanket up over his shoulders.

 

 Carlos started as his phone alarm went off.

   _‘Huh. I don’t remember falling asleep.’_ he thought and swung his feet to the floor. He silence the alarm. The smell of coffee filled his nostrils and his mouth began to water. As Carlos ambled into the kitchen, Melanie murmured a warm greeting. She stood by the small coffee maker, her delicate index finger tracing the lip of a mug.

  “Good morning, Carlos,” she smiled.

  “Buenas días,” he replied politely, grabbing a coffee cup from its perch in the cupboard above the counter. “Getting some caffeine before the kids wake up?” he inquired, taking a seat at the table to wait for the fragrant beverage. Melanie smiled and nodded.

  “I need to mentally prepare myself to stuff them back into a car for another hour and a half. On top of the four it took to get here.” Carlos flinched. Rowdy triplet boys, forced to sit for four hours. He didn’t think anyone could define the word “restless” any more accurately than that.

  The sound of the coffee maker spitting drew Melanie’s attention,  and she poured herself a cup. When she was finished, she turned the handle toward Carlos, and he took it with a smile, gracing his own cup with the bitter liquid.

  About half an hour later, his coffee was gone and the kids were awake. And- as he predicted- everyone was running around and tripping over one another in an attempt to make it out the door at a decent time. Emilio came into the kitchen holding all of his boys’ suitcases.

  “Ey, Carlito, abrir la puerta,” he ordered gruffly. Carlos swiftly moved to open the door.

  “Long night, hermano?” He asked playfully. Emilio smiled warmly as he passed, but said nothing. Carlos turned toward the stove, which most of the children were currently seated around. Aurora was busying herself making breakfast and she’d turned on the oven in the meantime; it was something of an Ortega family tradition. Carlos remembered the way Mamá would turn on the stove on particularly dark and sleepy school mornings, and when him and his siblings would make their way down the stairs, they’d plant themselves on the floor around the stove and slowly wake up. Carlos could only guess his siblings had practiced it with their families as well.

  Maya sat at her mother’s feet, fully dressed even as she yawned and rubbed her eyes. Kaitee was seated on the floor as well, her back against the counter and Gabe leaned up sleepily against her. Nighttime sat upon his lap, kneading with clawless paws contentedly. Gabe played with the bell on Nighttime’s pastel pink collar, but that didn’t go on for long, as the cat decided to snuggle the boy’s hand. Carlos smiled as he noticed Gabe’s painted nails. They were a light and pretty lavender.

  “Hey Gabe, did your sister help you paint your nails?” Carlos asked, leaning down a bit. Kaitee shook her head.

  “No, he’s really good at it, so I just let him have some of my polish a while ago.” Gabe smiled up at Carlos.

  “Can I paint your nails too?” He asked.

  “Well, I don’t see-”

  “Gabe, Uncle Carlos doesn’t want his nails painted. He’s a boy.” Kaitee interrupted, her face red.

  “Actually, I was going to say it was fine.” Carlos chuckled when Gabe’s face lit up. “Why don’t you pick a colour and pack it for Abuela’s?”

  “Okay!” Gabe squealed and nearly dumped poor Nighttime from his lap. Kaitee looked up at Carlos as soon as Gabe had rocketed around the corner.

  “Are you sure it’s okay, Uncle Carlos?” She asked. She looked worried. “It’s just that, generally Daddy tries to keep it a secret, and-”

  “There are no secrets among family, mariposa. I understand Gabe does things that may seem strange to other people, but family needs to be supportive no matter what. You are the hermana mayor, he looks up to you Kaitee. Never allow yourself to be embarrassed, órale?” Kaitee nodded, tucking her chocolate brown waves behind an ear. When Gabe returned, Kaitee smiled and hugged him close to her.

 

  Breakfast was ready not too long after, and everyone enjoyed the sausage and egg feast prepared for them. Very quickly. It was about 9:30 when they all left the house. Carlos ducked into the back seat of his sister’s Buick, taking his place next to Maya, who was bouncing in her pink car seat.

  “Tío Carlos, we’re finally going to see Abuela!” she exclaimed, her stuffed tiger joining in her elated bouncing.

  “Sí, it’s been a long time since you’ve seen Abuela, hasn’t it?” Carlos asked, checking his phone one last time before pocketing it. No calls or texts from colleagues or students. Maya nodded, her light russet hair splaying and brushing against her shoulders.

  “I’m excited too,” he added, and Aurora turned to face them from the passenger seat.

  “I am too! It’s been even longer for Tío Carlos, so make sure you let him hug her first.” Aurora smiled, reaching back to tuck a strand of static charged hair behind Maya’s ear.

  “Mamá, look!” Maya squealed, holding out her hands. Carlos’ eyes were drawn to her pastel pink and glittery nails. They were painted a bit messily.

  “Ahhh, que lindo!” Aurora fawned, touching Zane’s shoulder. He looked back to admire them as well.

  “That’s beautiful, Maya. Who helped you paint them?”

  “Gabe taught me how! He said I would get better though. I still think pink is better than purple.” She stuck out her tongue. Both of her parents smiled warmly.

  “Gabe is going to paint my nails, too,” Carlos said to Maya, and her eyes got wide.

  “NOT PURPLE.” She yelped, and the adults in the car had a good laugh.


	3. Chapter 3

  The drive to Mamá’s proved to be a lot more fun than Carlos had initially expected. Zane had started up a game that Carlos was unfamiliar with; it was called the Alphabet Game, and Maya absolutely loved it. The aim of the game was to say the alphabet with certain objects you saw. Zane started the game by saying: “A…. hmm. Advertisement.” He pointed to a billboard advertising a free clinic. Maya had joined in enthusiastically, and eventually her competitive nature spread to the rest of the car. Aurora had joined in, then Carlos. But in the end, Maya won. The unspeakable “let the youngest win” rule pervaded.

  “I got more letters than Dada!” Maya exclaimed, kicking her sandal clad feet.

  “You won’t need to go to school as long as I did then, huh?” Zane joked, and Aurora punched his arm.

  “We’re really close to Abuela’s, Maya,” Aurora smiled, and Zane rubbed his arm. The California countryside stretched on around them in seemingly endless green hills with lush trees and grass; sheep dotted a hill off in the distance. It amazed Carlos how much they looked like tiny cotton balls. He smiled at the tiny moving creatures as they passed by. Mamá hadn’t moved too far out of the city since her children had gone on to make lives of their own; a promise she had made to her hijos. Mamá loved the countryside and often told them how much it reminded her of her childhood home in Guadalupe. Carlos had never been to Mexico, but he imagined California had to be a little greener and more spaced out.

  “Carlito? Holá? Estás perdido en su cabeza una vez más!” Aurora scolded playfully.

  “Ah, lo siento,” Carlos apologized half heartedly.

  “Tu tío Carlos is always stuck up here-,” She gestured to her head, talking to Maya. “That’s why he’s a scientist. He’s not content that things just ARE; he has to know WHY.”

  “Tío Carlos is like Curious George?” Maya asked, a bit surprised. Carlos snickered and hid his mouth behind his hand. Aurora let loose a booming laugh from deep within her belly, and Carlos could hear Zane’s sudden guffaw from over his own uncontrolled wheezing laugh.

  “¿Qué es gracioso?” Maya asked, looking around at all the crazy adults.

  “Ah, nothing, Maya.” Carlos laughed, and leaned back in his seat. The buzzing of his phone drew his attention away from the start of the next conversation. He unlocked it. It was a text from one of his students, Connor.

  “ _Dr. Ortega, did you hear about what’s happening in Nevada?_ ” Carlos blinked.

  “ _No I haven’t. I’ve been with my family and away from home for a few days; I don’t think I’ve sat in front of a TV or radio for quite sometime. What’s going on? Is everything okay?_ ”

  Carlos’ finger tapped the door handle as he waited for Connor’s reply. Connor Morris was a very devoted student. Carlos had actually taken him out for field experience a few times. The boy was very perceptive and talented, albeit a bit imaginative. That wasn’t always a bad thing though. Carlos knew he was monotonous and steady; Connor provided someone to bring out his playful spirit. Most of his students had that effect on him. They lightened him up, made his spirit less heavy and tired.

   _Bzzz bzzzz._

  “ _There’s been some weird goings on in the Mojave Desert. A plane lost connection with its base while flying over. They haven’t heard from it in 12 hours. When a search party was sent out, their directional equipment started to malfunction. A bit further in, radiation levels were found to be unusually high._ ” Carlos raised an eyebrow. Interesting. Carlos could never resist answering the “why” questions, and this seemed the perfect opportunity for some hearty, fulfilling research. He’d have to contact his superiors soon.

  “ _Thanks for the information, Connor._ ” He replied, and looked out the window. Carlos recognized where they were. Mamá’s house was only a mile up the road. A sort of ambivalent anticipation bubbled up in his chest. He was excited, of course. He was also a bit scared. What does Mamá look like? How much help does she need? Is she doing okay..? Carlos looked out the car window as the Buick meandered its way up Mamá’s dirt driveway.

  “Carlito,” Aurora's voice drifted back to him. He looked up. “I can feel you worrying yourself sick back there. Knock it off, hermano.” She smiled at him in the rearview mirror. He smiled back weakly.

  “Estoy bien, Aurora.” Carlos soothed. “Please don’t worry.” Mamá always knew what to do and say. She’d be fine.

☽☀☾

  “Ahh, m'hijo!” Carlos smiled as his Mamá pulled him close for a hug. Carlos was average height, or even a bit short for his age, but he easily towered over Mamá. Her long black hair tickled his nose. She smelled of citrus and snapdragons, a scent which reminded Carlos very much of summer. “Aurora, ven, ven aquí!” Mamá drew Aurora close as well, and Maya pushed herself into the large embrace.

  “¡Hola, Abuela!” She giggled, clutching her grandmother’s legs.

  “Princesita, look at how much you’ve grown,” Mamá cooed scooping her up. “My, you have your Papá’s hair, don’t you?” She smiled, and the lines in her face somehow made the simple action complex and beautiful. Zane ran a hand over his cropped red hair and smiled sheepishly. Carlos grinned. Mamá looked just as healthy as ever.

  “You’re so happy and bright, Maya. Just like your mother. Radiante!”

  As the rest of the family trickled in, similar greetings were given to Mamá’s children and grandchildren. Carlos had to admit, Mamá was just as vivacious as she had been when he’d moved out. In her steps, and her breath, vida. It was a great relief, and Carlos relaxed in no time. For lunch, Mamá made oven roasted chicken with her family famous arroz on the side. It was a simple and delicious meal, and Carlos hadn’t realized how much he had missed her cooking. Carlos wasn’t the best cook in the world, but he could generally whip up something edible. Mamá knew how to make the simplest things delicious. Carlos had fond memories of when Papá used to say: “Gracias! Era delicioso, amorcito.” and kiss Mamá on the cheek.

  Of course, that had been ages ago. Nearly twenty years. Actually, a year and two months over twenty years, Carlos realized.

  “Seems like only yesterday, ey Carlito?” Carlos turned to Javier.

  “Hm?” Carlos replied rather gracefully.

  “That picture,” He points to a framed memory of their father upon the coffee table. “The one you were just looking at.” He half joked, and Carlos smiled ambivalently.

  “Well, I was just realizing that it has been 21 years and three months since… well, since I’ve been able to talk to Papá. Since any of us have.” Since he stopped existing, Carlos wanted to say, but didn’t. Javier nodded. Carlos was 12 when their father was diagnosed with cancer, and 14 when he passed away. He remembered the feeling of jealousy harboured toward his siblings that year. They’d all spent more time with Papá than he did, and Papá had always seemed to understand them better. Carlos and his father didn’t have trouble getting along, but rather understanding why the other did what they did. They were complete opposites.

  “Ey Carlito, don’t think too hard on it,” Javier said, and his hand landed heavily upon Carlos’ shoulder. He looked at it quizzically. It amazed him how foriegn that seemed. Had it been that long since he’d seen his family? He knew the answer was yes, but he took Javier’s advice and refused to let himself think about it.

☽☀☾

  “Carlito, mi hijo, you must pay attention to what you are doing,” Mamá scolded gently as she pulled Carlos away from the stove.

  “Aw, Mamá, it’s just a little burn.” That seared and pulsed like EL INFIERNO. Ow ow ow, meirda! Mamá tsked and put his hand under the stream of icy water running from the tap. “La bandeja está caliente del horno.” She smiled sarcastically, drying his hand and shutting off the water. Her small, aged hands deftly rubbed aloe on Carlos’ thumb.

  “Ahora veo.” Carlos snipped, biting back his bitterness. There was no reason to get angry about a stupid burn, he got them all the time, what with being naturally clumsy AND working in a lab most days. He sighed dramatically as Mamá smiled at him.

  “Life is so hard, Mamá.” He pouted playfully.

  “Well, maybe if you had someone to keep you, hijo, you’d feel a bit better.” Keep me… Carlos thought, and smiled at the notion. He’d not had a lover in a while; he simply didn’t have the time or energy to spend on anyone, especially anyone he liked. He knew he’d be a horrible partner at this point in his life.

  “Ah, Mamá, I wish relationships were that simple.”

  “They can be if you want them to be, querido.” Her brown eyes danced like jostled mugs of the darkest and most delicious café Carlos could imagine.

  “Teach me your ways, oh great one.” Carlos quipped, a smirk lighting his features. Mamá shook her head.

  “You can not teach cariño, Carlito. It comes all by itself. And sometimes it might come as a surprise. But in time, you will know what it is.” Carlos studied her face, wise and regal, and nodded in silence. Of course his Mamá would say something like that, she was a very friendly person. She got people without having to try. For instance, she knew instantly when Carlos was struggling with this same exact thing freshman year, mostly because he felt cariño for another boy. Mamá had explained to him that some people were born differently and therefore, loved differently. And while other people may not understand, she promised su familia would always be there to support him. Since then, he’d found that his attraction was not limited to males, but females as well. A time came when he was finding it very hard to concentrate because EVERYONE caught his eye in some way, everyone held a glint of the beauty and connection he sought with another human being. At first, he linked it to his social anxiety. Everyone wants what they can’t have, right? When it bothered him enough to research it, he found that he could identify as pansexual, which instantly made him think of un pan, and he laughed. Pan-tostado-sexual. Coming out of his reverie, he smiled at his mother, and layered his larger hand over hers.

  “Gracias, Mamá. It might take 70 years for me to ever fully understand human interaction, but I will definitely keep you in mind throughout the learning process.” His mother laughed.

  “Carlito, someone will be delighted to meet you someday. You’ll see, m’hijo. You’ll see.”


End file.
